DNA

*Image & card by Pink Orchid Press

Ha!  Science jokes are so corny!  This card reminds me of all the people I know who are currently "in the family way."  I seem to be surrounded on all sides by friends and their babies or their expanding bellies growing babies.  DNA Valentines are perfect for folks like that.  What is the worst/best science joke you know? (bonus points if you can make it Valentine related).

Ton

*Image & card by Bel's Art World

Sometimes I forget that a ton is a unit of measure.  I find myself stuck in the colloquial usage far more often - I never have a ton of work.  Never.  I feel like I have tons of things to do on a daily basis, but that isn't quite right either.  This card pretty much sums up the correct usage of tons and yet manages to amuse me.  Which units of measure do you exaggerate?

Kissy

*Image & card by hellosmallworld

I love the hand drawn aspect of this card and all of the small imperfect hearts.  The sentiment makes me laugh because it reminds me of my husband, and my bulldog.  Odin gets into these licking frenzies and it only happens with my husband.  I think that the dog likes the saltiness of his skin post run.  Whatever it is, it always makes me giggle when Odin gets in his "kisssy kissy" mood.  I never thought I would appreciate being licked by a dog - in fact I'm still not a super fan, but it sure is funny to watch.  How do you feel about animal "kisses"?

Schmancy

*Image & card by AshleyPahl

This is the glitter end of an arrow I wouldn't mind seeing.   I can't believe that February will be here next week.  This year is already slipping by... almost like an arrow?  I'm not going to push those corny bounds like a normal English teacher.  Where does the time go?

Hog

*Image & card by JulieAnnArt

No, this card would not be for my husband.  He got the salt yesterday.  Too bad my dog can't read because he is the biggest bed hog I know.  I like to cuddle with the bull, but seriously... I never guessed that a 52 lb. dog could take up so much space.  He manages to snuggle up, just so and to squeeze me over until I am fighting for room.  Did I mention that we have a king-sized bed?  Yeah.  Do you know a bed hog?

Salt

*Image & card by hellosmallworld

As I write this I am sitting cozy and content with a belly full of turkey tortilla soup.  My husband is definitely the salt, and the recipes he tries out on a regular basis keep me full and happy.  I'd live a pretty bland food life without his influence.  I do like to cook, but I'm not as adventurous as I'd like.  I'm also a bit lazy in the kitchen.  I try to clean as I go and therefore try to make less mess - that means boring cooking.  My husband doesn't mind making a mess and really getting into the task. He is inspired by making good food.  Yeah, salt.  Who is your salt?

Bacon

*Image & card by 4four

I am betting that if you hate Valentine's Day, you probably like bacon.  If you don't like either, I can't help you.  Even if I didn't like VDay, I'd be willing to pretend just to get my hands on some good chocolates.  Come to think of it, you can even buy bacon chocolate now to get the best of both worlds.  I've tasted it and it's not too bad.  How would you react to a nice slab of bacon as a Valentine?

Barf

*Image & card by witandwhistle

This card would be perfect for my newest friend.  Not that she makes me want to barf, quite the opposite.  I cannot be happier to have met this girl and to have hit it off so well.  I think that a card like this would make her smirk and she'd totally get it.  My kind of lady.  Do you find yourself making as many new friends now that you're all grown up?

Arrow

*Image & card by letterhappy

I never thought I'd see Bon Jovi on a Valentine's Day card.  I like it. Which other rock lyrics would make good VDay cards? 

Don't like

*Image & card by thingsarelookingup

My favorite cards are Valentines.  This one in particular makes me smirk a bit.  The next month of posts will be featuring some of my favorite Valentine's Day cards and inspiration from around the web.  On Saturday I'm heading to a friend's for craft day in order to make my annual VDay cards.  Would you like one?

Display

 

*Image by Ohhh... Mhhh... via Creature Comforts

I'm not planning on hanging magazines on the wall in my house, but now I have a new use for my dry cleaning hangers in my classroom.  I have magazines, but struggle to display them in a way that will entice students to read them.  They flop over on shelves, they get torn and tossed aside when they're not displayed properly.  I think that this will be a hit.  Now I just have to get a few fun new magazines to catch the eyes of my reluctant readers.  Which magazines are your favorites?

True

*Image & print by ExLibrisJournals

This statement is absolutely true.  I also realized that all of my paper-themed posts made this week pretty visually bland.  When I'm done grading I'll take care of that.  Big plans this weekend?  Any big books you'd recommend?

Clone

*Image by molassesact

This is pretty much what my desk will look like all week.  Essays to read, tests to grade and grades to enter.  A co-worker of mine lamented that she wished a clone of herself existed so she could grade in half of the time.  If I had a clone I'm not sure I would split the work, I would just continue to procrastinate while I put the clone to work.  This, I am sure, would get me in trouble and there would be an uprising.  I'm just as bad as the kids.  I need to sequester myself at school this week because there are too many temptations to procrastinate at home.  Where do you get your best work done?

Snark

*Image & card by Sapling Press

While reading essays it is so obvious which students in my classes will be writing letters like this in their future.  Isn't it funny how our priorities in middle school shape our futures?  When I stayed late at work Friday night calling home to all of the parents of kids with missing essays, I had no idea I would stumble upon such perfect snark while surfing the internet (instead of grading like I'm supposed to).  I spent much of my middle and high school years stuck in a book. What were your priorities in middle school?

Pollen

*Image & book by Roger Hargreaves

When it is 65 degrees outside on a January morning, I guess pollen and allergens are bound to begin floating around in the air.  After my inaugural 5K on New Year's day I spent the day sneezing.  I went for a nice walk with the bull this morning and here I am, clutching a tissue while my nose reacts to the outdoors.  I love that it was nice enough to enjoy a cup of tea on the patio with a friend this morning.  I hate that being outside seems to doom me to a day of sneezing misery.  I've tried several brands of allergy meds, but it might be time to see someone.  I know that acupuncture is a good idea, but I don't know anyone in town to point me in the right direction for this remedy.  I use my netti pot to no avail.  Any tips on fighting a day of the sneezes?

Goose

*Image & purse via Kate Spade

I've been shopping for a crossbody purse since around September.  I picked one out, and then it sold out!  The problem is not that there is not an abundance of purse options available, but that I am a cheapskate.  I cannot see paying $225 for this lovely, tiny little bag.  Not an option.  Thank goodness the internet can send me e-mail alerts for bargains.  One of the sites I belong to awarded me a credit that I applied to bring the price down to $69 (a savings of over $150). When I saw the total, it was like little kids playing duck-duck-goose so I snapped it up.  My swanky new accessory came in the mail and I'm thrilled  to have a fancy little hands-free bag. Are you a discount shopper?

 p.s. I scored this deal through Gilt Group, not a member? Click my link to join.

Wisdom

*Image & calendar by Messy Bed Studio

I looked my classroom wall the other day and realized that my calendar is still on December and I don't have anything yet to replace it.  Last year a co-worker bought me an awesome calendar for Christmas and this year I totally forgot.  I think that something like this fortune cookie calendar would inspire a few kids.  I try to keep my wall art interesting, any recommendations?

Waking

 

 *Image & card by cleanwash

Waking up this week has been so hard!  I actually can commiserate with my bleary-eyed students.  Thank goodness for caffeine.  How do you feel about early mornings?

Beets

*Image by craigCloutier

My mom thinks that I should add eating beets to my list of goals for this next year.  Growing up, beets were always suspect in my house.  With a family that eats cold soup the color of Peptol-Bismol during the summer while proclaiming its goodness, I was never convinced.  Beet sounded awful, pastel buttermilk beet soup sounded and looked even worse.  I get that as an adult my palate may have changed, I would be willing to try a golden roasted beet or something small and non-committal.  I'm not sure even if I love beets if I'll ever be sold on the pink soup.  Do you have any recipes I should try?

Grapes

*Image by loco ejj

I ate my fill of grapes after the amazing dinner with my husband and our friends last night.  We had a great evening with games and fun and began our day with a nice morning 5k.  Yesterday my husband decided to run a mind-boggling 16 miles so today, instead of racing, he ran with me.  I couldn't have been happier, and he made sure I achieved my goal time.  Tonight we'll feast on some lentil soup and I'll mentally prepare for students tomorrow.  How did you ring in 2012?